My first born, my baby, my glorious cherub Marchella recently turned 13. I'm still waiting for the second head to appear, I'll keep you posted on that one.
Because I am an excellent Mother (read: idiot push over who never learns her lesson) both of my kids get to have a birthday party each year. Nothing outrageous and crazy Kardashian style (although last year things did get pretty wild when one kid accidentally snorted whizz fizz up his nose) just a few of their mates at out place, usually for a sleep over. Sleep! Ha!
Well this year, things changed. They took a rather adolescent turn. This year I was told that she would like a "gathering" not a party, I didn't take it well."A what? Are we not calling it a party anymore? Should I put the Women's weekly birthday cake circa 1975 away?
No Barbie swimming pool cake made from jelly and real barbie dolls then?" I quizzed her. "No Mum, a gathering. People have gathoes not parties ok. No novelty cakes, no games, no lolly bags and no singing happy birthday."
Say what now? What's the point then?! What was I to do with the ten thirteen year old girls descending upon my house? Have them sit staring at a wall for 5 hours? My kid had taken away my best material! So now I was facing a "gathering" that was sounding about as fun as discovering a fermented nappy under your car seat after 6 months of "what is THAT smell?" (Obviously I don't need to tell you, this happened to me.)
I was most disappointed about the cake part, each time a birthday rolls around the girls and I pour over the birthday cake bible aka Women's weekly cake book and painstakingly pick a cake to recreate. I use the term recreate very loosely, one year I tried to make a caterpillar cake- it ended up something like this.
So I set to work researching what could be done at Teenage birthday parties and I thought I'd share with you what I came up with.
The party.. Sorry, gathering, was a huge success so I feel like these tips may actually be useful!Activities (Do not call them games under any circumstances or they won't fly)
1. Balloon dares:
Write dares on a small piece of paper, ram them inside a balloon, then blow it up. Hang the balloons off a washing basket and have the girls pop them with a pin one at a time. Some of our dares included:
*Have the person next to you take a really awful photo of you, upload it to instagram.
*Smell everyone's feet and rank them best to worst.
*Swap pants with the person next to you.
*Text "I like the smell of my own farts" to the last person you sms'd on your phone.
*Spin in circles and put red lipstick on.
I found incorporating their social media was a big hit, they all have their phones glued to their heads anyway so they were totally down with this one. (Sorry for writing "totally down" that will never happen again.)
2. Mummy make-over.
Make two teams, give them many rolls of toilet paper, lipstick, glitter, scraps of material, gaffer tape and a black sharpie. One member must be wrapped head to toe in toilet paper and beautified. The most decorative mummy wins.
3. Wardrobe raiders.
This one may not work for you but since I have a large costume/clothing cupboard it kept them entertained for at least an hour. The ladies were sent off to put themselves in my clothes and shoes. After they were done they stood in front of a large white sheet we'd hung up and an epic photo shoot commenced. I then emailed them all the photos.The night ended with a giant chocolate non novelty mud cake I'd acquired from Costco and happy birthday was sung. I know I went against the directives with the singing however there was no way I was giving up that particular tradition.
Hopefully this has been of some use to those of you facing the transition from parties where your guests wet their pants to parties where your guests roll their eyes and scream a lot. Look as we all know the wee-ing of the pants can come back as an adult, if the party is REALLY good.Sorry.
Not sorry.Good luck!
Your friend, Em.